29 May Warning – you get what you focus on!
Are you feeling frustrated that you’re not making the progress you want? Are you spending lots of time thinking about what’s not working for you? Are you really clear on what you don’t want to be doing anymore? Do you spend time wondering why you’re not moving forward?
Then this may be why:
You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want
You know when you’re looking for a new car and you pick a favourite and then suddenly you start seeing the same model every time you’re out driving, even though you never noticed them before?
Were they not there before?
No – it’s just that you started noticing them because you were thinking about them.
Very often it’s easy to get caught up spending time thinking about what we’re not happy with right now in our lives.
Maybe you’re still having to work in a job you hate whilst running your own business.
Maybe you’re not making enough money in your business and are constantly worrying about it.
Maybe you’re so busy trying to do everything that you’re always thinking about how busy you are!
That’s okay – we all do it.
It just means that whilst you continue to focus on what you don’t want this is what you’ll continue to get.
Here’s a little story to help make my point.
My 21 month old really doesn’t seem to understand the word ‘no’. When we say ‘don’t put that ice-cream in your hair’, she puts the ice-cream in her hair. When we say ‘don’t throw your food on the floor’, she throws her food on the floor. When we say ‘don’t hit your sister’. she hits her sister.
You get the gist I think.
So, being smart people my husband and I figured out this strategy wasn’t working (eventually!) and now we’re telling her what we do want her to do. Like ‘eat your food nicely’, ‘be kind to your sister’ and so on.
Now I won’t pretend this is working all the time but we do seem to be making progress.
Anyhow she’s only 21 months but you’re a big girl or boy! The point is to focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
If you really want to start making some positive changes in your life then firstly get clear about what exactly it is that you do want.
More customers to buy your products? Getting done what you need to each day and relaxing, knowing that you’ve done the best you can?
Once you’ve got clear on what it is that you do want then start to focus on this.
Write it down. Read it back at least twice a day. Have it memorised and in your head at all times.
Then the magic starts to happen – your brain will start to help guide you in what you do and in the decisions you make to move you nearer to what you want in your life.
I don’t want to make this sound effortless – of course you still need to take action and put in the work, but by focusing on what you want at the same time you’ll find yourself moving towards it.
And each time you catch yourself thinking about something that you don’t want, focus instead on what you do want.
If you’d like some support on figuring out what you want and how to get there, I can help. In fact, that’s what I love doing! Check out my programmes page to see how we can work together and book in a 30 minute ‘get to know more’ session with me in my online diary www.meetme.so/alisonbradford
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